J+302 Coming home. 回国！

I can't describe the pain it is to leave my friends here. 

But I can't describe how much I look forward to hug my friends and family .
There isn't one day without memories popping up, they all made my heart so rich. 

I am coming.
I love you all so much. 

See you 后天、21号。

J+300 My departure approaching

I will leave Nanjing very soon, in 3 days 差不多，I feel excited and depressed at the same time.
I feel I have lost so many occasions here, and now time is rushing, people count every hour, saying "this is our last Saturday, Friday together".

I guess in some way it is more painful to leave my friends here, for two reasons: first, there is an incertitude regarding to the next time I will see them, then because they are totally different from anybody I know. They complete me, and have completely changed me.
I have found true friendship here too, in China. And it is beautiful.
Some of my best friends parents have prepared a room in there home, and told me it was mine, for "when I come back"

These days, my mind is totally empty sometimes, I just keep walking, staring at places, with my good memories constantly popping back everywhere I go, staring in the emptiness and keep walking, listening to some music. It's funny how music is powerful to me.
There are some songs, I just listen to them and I travel right back to the place I used to hear them frequently. I can take a trip to Moscow with one song, it's enough for me.
For Nanjing, I probably have 300 songs.
Nanjing has become my home.

On a normal day, when I go out in the morning, on my way, I know everybody, and we greet each other so warmly. It is slightly different from France isn't it...
If one day I don't appear, the next day, they will ask me "你怎么了？昨天没来＂ " what is wrong? I didn't see you yesterday.."

I have to say I am quite different from the foreigners here in Nanjing.
I do not stay with them, but I am constantly with my Chinese friends.
I came here to learn the culture, I believe this is the way to accomplish it.
I feel so glad because I have successfully managed to change their opinions about "外国人＂, foreigners.
I made them understand the difference between foreigners, we are not "ONE BIG GROUP", as China considers the rest of humanity but we are distinct small groups. An American is fairly different from a French, German, latino or British, in many ways.
Then, I could not tolerate the way Chinese stereotype westerners. In one sentence: "you people are so OPEN" .
They mean it in a negative way, Chinese deeply believe that western people do not mind, and are quite willing to show inappropriate sexual behavior in public places.
I am relieved I changed a lot of them, opened their eyes, wiped off the steam on their glasses. Unfortunately, I do see some westerners, on a daily basis ruining my efforts, and contributing to building up that bad image. Chinese say they have "no face" , meaning they can't even lose face, they are so low, they don't have one.

I keep walking, walking, these days. It is driving me potty. I walk like a ghost in these streets I love like my hometown, shopkeepers ask me "how is your sister?", I smile at them, with tears running down my pale face.
The truth is that I miss my family, Charlotte, my parents, my grandparents, aunt, cousin, everybody. I miss my best friend.
But I also have more than what people can imagine here.
I am confused. Feel empty, but want to explode at the same time.
My friends here have tears whenever we go out, and everybody is speechless.

I have changed so much this year. It is probably unimaginable to people who knew me before.
I know myself more than ever before, and I know what I want, what I don't want in life. I know what I stand for, and what are my values.
I will never forget what the Chinese have taught me.
China is a positive nation, that will never stop attracting me.
I am in love with this country.
And Nanjing will always welcome me back, I know this.

J+300 Friends goodbyes...

My attempt to tomboy style:

J+300 Family goodbyes...

Some "goodbye" photos. Family ones...

A worker at the restaurant , we get on very well together:

My aunt and I:

Sister, my aunt and myself:

 Family photo, at home:

The present they sent me, on the table: 

Our family, at my fathers restaurant:

My beloved sister:

My sister has become so elegant , in one year :

j+293 Dinner with nanjing VIPs

I had dinner yesterday with some very important men in Nanjing, Lisa's brothers acquaintances.
Politic, chief of security, chief of the district, businessmen;

They all explained to me how "it works here in China"
-if you are willing to do anything by yourself, then ¡forget it, you need support. You need to know higher people and everything becomes possible.
It is your acquaintances who will make things easy for you.
They all told me I had their support. And we exchanged a lonnnnnng ceremony of standing up, toasting each other.
I started with the same white whine as them, after three glasses I figured out that yogurt was a safer choice for me; how wise> this drinking standing up lasted for about 1:30h ..!

J+290 Wonderful dinner

Evan and I went for dinner at a beautiful restaurant with a superb view on Nanjing... On the 45th floor of a tower.

The food was very delicious , a buffet... We both were "full to die" after a 5 course meal..

J+286 My big surprise

My classmates and my head teacher had prepared a surprise for me.

I am deeply touched, still 3 days later.

They had practiced some French songs, and sang all together, then every student stood up to say a few words about me, and good memories we have together.

They had a PowerPoint presentation with some photos and private jokes, we were all crying.

To be honest, I was in a total mess. I had mascara on, and looked like a panda because of my tears. I have some true friends here, and it is just too difficult for me to imagine not seeing their smiling faces, positive attitude regardless of what situation they have to face. I admire them so much.

They all wrote on my uniform and covered me with presents, letters, and tears.