Please
keep in mind that what I am going to write is strictly from my point of view,
what I observe from my daily experiences here in china. It may sound as if I am
listing facts, no. This is my opinion, what I see.
There
are a few moral points, which cause misunderstanding, sometimes anger when both
cultures, western and Chinese are confronted.
Honesty
is one of them.
You
see, at first, this was a big problem for me. Honesty means a lot to me, it
brings me a feeling of security. Arriving here, I noticed they didn't care that
much whether someone tells the truth or not.
There
is a sort of hypocrisy here, I am desperately trying to put words on it. People
constantly lie, but in fact, in most cases it's politeness.
I
notice there are different categories : in a family, people say the pure, naked
truth.
Between
best friends, or very close relatives, they lie, to show a sort of
kindness.
For
instance "oh, how I wish to see you, oh, your family is so great, oh, you look
wonderful, I am so jealous..."
And
to others, the "strangers", they lie about everything.
To
make you understand, I will give you an example.
We
were 5 minutes late with 7 of my classmates, after lunch break because there was
a long queue to take hot water.
When
we came back to the classroom, the teacher asked the students why they were
late. They gave the teacher the explanation; and he then came to check with me
if it was true.
I
asked my classmates why, why the teacher checked with me, they told me
"foreigners are known to say the truth so teachers believe you instead of
us".
I
have come to conclude the "conception of honesty" is totally different. Just
like some Arab countries, a lie here isn't a bad thing. It isn't seen as a
betrayal.
I
am progressively getting used to that and attaching less belief to people's
saying.
