J+143 Honesty in china.

Please keep in mind that what I am going to write is strictly from my point of view, what I observe from my daily experiences here in china. It may sound as if I am listing facts, no. This is my opinion, what I see.

There are a few moral points, which cause misunderstanding, sometimes anger when both cultures, western and Chinese are confronted.

Honesty is one of them.

You see, at first, this was a big problem for me. Honesty means a lot to me, it brings me a feeling of security. Arriving here, I noticed they didn't care that much whether someone tells the truth or not.

There is a sort of hypocrisy here, I am desperately trying to put words on it. People constantly lie, but in fact, in most cases it's politeness.

I notice there are different categories : in a family, people say the pure, naked truth.

Between best friends, or very close relatives, they lie, to show a sort of kindness.

For instance "oh, how I wish to see you, oh, your family is so great, oh, you look wonderful, I am so jealous..."

And to others, the "strangers", they lie about everything.

To make you understand, I will give you an example.

We were 5 minutes late with 7 of my classmates, after lunch break because there was a long queue to take hot water.

When we came back to the classroom, the teacher asked the students why they were late. They gave the teacher the explanation; and he then came to check with me if it was true.

I asked my classmates why, why the teacher checked with me,  they told me "foreigners are known to say the truth so teachers believe you instead of us".

I have come to conclude the "conception of honesty" is totally different. Just like some Arab countries, a lie here isn't a bad thing. It isn't seen as a betrayal.

I am progressively getting used to that and attaching less belief to people's saying.